would we really be better off if we were all happy? i was just thinking about making people happier… how maybe, if i could have any super power, i’d want to be able to control other people’s minds and emotions and make everyone happy. would i be a force of good or evil? do i [...]
Entries from October 2005
October 29, 2005
tattoo
tonight i will be pink.
i will shine.
i will sex it up against my better judgement.
i will no doubt be cold.
i hope i will be hot.
i will sparkle.
i will laugh at myself tomorrow.
if i remember what to laugh at.
tonight i will enjoy myself to spite myself.
October 28, 2005
anticipate
i kicked back this evening. it’s been a long time since i chose solitude over society. tonight, though, tonight i needed this. it’s hard, though, to rid myself of the craving for external validation after i’ve gotten so used to it. my mind won’t calm down tonight. my thoughts won’t keep still long enough for [...]
October 26, 2005
i’ve got no illusions about you
i’ve got that soundtrack in my head and no music to feed my brain. i left my headphones at home. due to some idiocy on my part i ended up on the other side of the river with my bike and no keys this morning. i didn’t end up going to interact because by the [...]
October 25, 2005
she blinded me with science!
how do i write a smile into a blog? after an interminable and unsatisfying weekend i have again attained equilibrium. i went to a yoga class with chels today. i think i must be channeling positive energy as a result because i feel on top of the world. i feel like rockin’ out. i’m going [...]
October 21, 2005
close your eyes and relax
i think i’m alright. i have a headache and i’m exhausted and i’m losing control of my life a bit, but i think i’m ok. wait, that came out wrong. all those things are true, but i’m not freakin’ out about it. i miss my sister and my dad… lucky ducks are in boston. i [...]
October 20, 2005
let me tell you about the fall
five years ago i was angry and confused and hurting, oh i was hurting so much it came out all sideways all over the place. i wrote lots of very bad poetry that nonetheless painted a very poignant and very accurate picture of my mental state. five years ago i started doing poorly in school. [...]
October 19, 2005
i hate the fall
i’ve been thinking all week about one year ago… the smells and the light of this month are stronger reminders than i’ll ever need.
October 18, 2005
good morning
october light in my window. enough sleep for once. i think it will be a good day.
